Paris Hilton - Eloi on the Menu

Paris Hilton is an Eloi.

"The Eloi are one of the two post-human races in H. G. Wells' 1895 novel The Time Machine. In the year AD 802,701 humanity has evolved into two separate species: the Eloi and the Morlocks. The Eloi are the spoiled, attractive upper class, living in luxury on the surface of the earth while the Morlocks live underground, tending machinery and providing food, clothing and infrastructure for the Eloi."

As you can guess, if Paris is an Eloi then the rest of us must be Morlocks.

" ...while the Morlocks continue to support the world's infrastructure and serve the Eloi, the Eloi have undergone significant physical and mental deterioration. Having solved all problems which required strength, intelligence or virtue, they have slowly become dissolute, frail animals. While one initially has the impression that the Eloi live a life of play and toil less abundance, it is revealed that the Morlocks are tending to the Eloi's needs for the same reason a farmer tends to cattle - because the Eloi compose most (if not all) of the Morlocks diet and the Eloi are no longer capable of acting in any other role than to be eaten by the morlocks"

While certainly I don't think anyone would want to substitute Paris for some other protein in their current diet, there is definitely consumption of Paris Hilton taking place amongst we Morlocks. On a day when the Senate issued long overdue subpoenas to the White House, the Vice President's office and the Justice Department regarding the domestic wiretapping transgressions, CNN gifted us with hours of coverage of our sweet little Eloi.

We also learned how we Morlocks consume our little Eloi through tabloids, and porn sites, and appearance payments, and crappy music, and her half wit reality show ... We Morlocks feast so, on this little Eloi, that she can afford to be marginally educated and talentless, eye candy.

I'd continue but I am so full of Paris at this point I need some Mylanta.

* http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eloi